Зачем плакать и жаловаться, когда можно маму начать искать?
Дети не хотят стоять в строю и жалуются на разнообразные проблемы. Военрук учит их другому отношению к жизни.
Как проблемы переводить в задачи. Занятие в Синтоне ведет проф. Н.И.Козлов.
Life difficulties are not yet problems.
No money - is it a problem or a task facing a person? Disease - is it a task to recover or a problem that you need to worry about? I do not know which university to enter - is it a problem or task to gather information, to think and make the best choice from the available information?
The problem and task are two different ways of seeing the same life difficulty. "I do not know where to go ..." - this is a problem. "We have to figure out which way to move!" Is a task. Often the word "problem", without thinking, is used by people with completely positive and balanced thinking, for them it is just a habitual negative pattern of perception.
Problems from difficulties people create for themselves, but what people have created, you can and remake. Problems, as a way of realizing life’s difficulties, can be turned into tasks. The difficulty in this case does not disappear, it remains, but in the format of the task it is possible to work with it more efficiently. This is constructive.
Turning problems into tasks is possible, but this is also a job, and it’s not for everyone and it’s not always easy to do it right away. For an intelligent, vigorous and healthy person this work is easy, it is generally difficult to call a job, but if a person is really bad and hard, even this action is sometimes difficult. Going to the doctor’s office for you, most likely, not a question, but for a man who just broke off his leg - something more difficult. Therefore, if a person is in serious condition, if a person has a great grief, or if the habit of experiencing it grows and is supported by internal benefits, work with the emotions and client’s condition may first be necessary, and then, on a more healthy basis, help him move from the position of the Victim in the position of the Author.
When a person is in an adequate and working condition, translating a problem into tasks sometimes happens instantly, easily, in one move: there was a problem - a task was formulated. I broke the car - I called the service. In more complex situations, it is better to translate the problem into a task step by step, using a certain algorithm. The general scheme of dealing with problems, the scheme of turning them into something positive and effective, is as follows:
• Recognition of the problem. This is already a step: you have realized something as your problem. If a girl smokes and it does not consider her problem - in vain. It is better to consider this a problem.
• Problem with negative language. If you have something that you call a problem, state your task to get rid of it. Yes, this is a negative task, but it’s at least simple: «I’m lazy" → "I want to get rid of laziness." "I find it hard to get rid of smoking!" → "I want to quit smoking". It’s not healthy that so far the wording is negative, but it’s great that you decided: it’s time to do something about it! For more information see → →
• Work task. The work task is a task with a concrete and positive formulation. In this formulation, an assertion, not a negation; here you already tell yourself not what does not suit you, but what you want to get as a result. "My task is to establish a healthy lifestyle: points Meal, Sports and go to bed on time!" In another formulation - a positive formulation of the goal.
• What to do? We are looking for a way and solutions. When the task is clear, you need to start doing something. What? If the problem is solved quickly - the solutions, if the problem can be solved only gradually, stage by stage - then you need a vision of the solution, some kind of simple action plan. If at all it is not clear what to do, then either consult with clever people, or make at least some trifle in the direction of the chosen goal. In large tasks - the plan to achieve the goal.
• The first step, the specific case. It is necessary. If you did not do anything within 24 hours after making the decision, throw it out of your head, you have no serious intention, but an empty dream and a whim, and you are a cheap profursetka. If you are a serious person, then do at least a small, but specific case. We got up, put on sneakers, and ran. At least a little. But from words and reflections - you have got down to business. It is right!
Total, if not fixed on the plan, then almost immediately we get the following vigorous chains:
1. I am lazy
2. I want to get rid of laziness
3. I want to become single-minded (or energetic?). Other options: active, hardworking, active.
4. The plan ...
5. Vigorously spend the next morning.
The social-cognitive theory of Albert Pandura described the same thing in her own language, like the five steps of self-control behavior.
1. It is difficult for me to get rid of smoking
2. I want to quit smoking
3. I want to improve my health and rebuild myself for a healthy lifestyle. Variants: I want to improve my stamina, I want to have healthy breathing, I want to easily run for long distances.
4. The plan ...
5. I’ll start doing morning exercises and pour cold water.
1. I’m a very irritable person
2. I want to get rid of irritability
3. I want to be, as a rule, in an energetic and positive state. Variants: I want to be emotionally stable, I want to charge others with my positive, I want to attract people with my cheerfulness.
4. The plan ...
5. I’ll start to stay till 23.00
1. I do not have enough self-confidence
2. I want to get rid of uncertainty
3. I want to develop confident behavior. Options: I want to feel in the position of the Boss, I want to have a healthy self-esteem, I want to be an example of confident behavior for others.
4. The plan ...
5. On the way to work I will keep a confident posture.
So, instead of long dreary conversations on the topic «I’m lazy, it’s very difficult for me to get rid of smoking, because of this I do not have enough self-confidence and it’s terribly annoying" we slept well, made a small but energetic charge, ) with cold water and went to work with a beautiful back, admiring yourself.
WE DO NOT HAVE PROBLEMS. WE HAVE TASKS. AND VERY CREATIVE TASKS!
If you need more detailed recommendations for the next steps, see the article "How to solve your problems." I wish you success!
Ah, yes ... Do not forget that an increasing number of people choose not to solve their problems, but feel sorry for themselves and complain about life. Sometimes it’s just a choice, sometimes a bad habit, but even after reading this article and completely (seemingly) agreeing with it, people continue to complain about certain problems. What to do with it, if this is about you? Understand: the habit of understanding it does not disappear, you need to retrain yourself now. If you take it for yourself, read How to work on yourself, if there is an opportunity to come to the training - this is an excellent solution, in a group of like-minded people, the result will come faster. For the most serious and responsible - the coach program "Distance", a system of step-by-step development of the individual. Our recommendations are the training center "Syntone», specifically the Basic Training. If you are not from Moscow, you can come to the Summer Basic Training (look elsewhere on the site), this is a wonderful combination of excellent work and a wonderful holiday.
The action, in some way the opposite of translating problems into tasks, is problematization, creating a problem for the client. Sometimes it’s stupidity and sabotage, sometimes it makes sense ...
People who seek advice usually come with problems. The task of a competent consultant is to transfer the client from the victim’s position to the author’s position, and turn the problem into a task.
Supplements from students of the University of Practical Psychology
Svetlana Nefedova, a student of UPP
Having read the article about translating the definition of "problem" into the definition of "task", I began to play with words in relation to different life scenes. I listened to myself and admired - it works! And everything is great, if it were not so clearly.
Yes, indeed, by calling the problem a task, I’m tuning in to the action; there is an understanding that it is necessary to solve this; I take myself out of the state of "victim" into the "author" state. In principle, I often used this method in my life. The article gave me awareness, I "learned" this tool and can use it not for an hour from an hour, but always.
More than once I am convinced that in the search for truth it is necessary to begin with definitions. And what is the problem? This is such a "stopper" that slows us down the path of life, adversely affecting certain aspects of life, personality. Sometimes we can not act, the problem paralyzes us. Then translating it into a task helps a lot. And it happens that she brakes us emotionally.
Example. In the morning the child complains that the throat hurts. Is this a problem or not? Problem. The child was ill. I do not need to translate this problem into a task. My mind, the body and all this accompanying in three seconds independently transferred it to the task even before my mind had time to pick up this event verbal forms. I know that it is necessary to act, how to act and what goals. But the problem remains exactly the problem, as it is not called, I feel sorry for the child, I know that the next 2-3 days I’m knocked out of ordinary life. Personally, in such situations I use my own way. I am ironically saying: "Yes-ah-ah, we have trouble-ah!" But I understand that this is not a problem, but in general there are troubles. I specially aggravate the problem with a new definition of "trouble", I take the definition into an even greater negative, I compare the definition and the situation. I get an easy emotional discharge and go back to the tasks.
Or - the friend in tears: the daughter left to walk with the young man, does not call, about school thinks a little, to the young man - 25, to the daughter - 15. A problem which it is not necessary to translate into a task. You understand your desires, ie. goals. You’re ready to do something, but do not know how. In addition, fear paralyzes thoughts.
After all these meditations, I altered the understanding of the article for myself and completely agreed with it. How lucky we are that we use our mother tongue. After all, it allows us to devalue the problem by choosing different definitions. I do not know how many words on this subject exist in English, from which the fashion has gone, we all call the problem. It is necessary to use the Russian language, because in Russian words answers and solutions often lie. My husband liked the word "embarrassment", i.e. you go along the way, work hard, and then there s the embarrassment, and it’s okay, you just need to work a little harder. Girlfriend I did not pick up the alternative, I had to just come up with a name like to the book - "first love" - this is no longer a problem, many romantic associations, you can calm down and think. Problem, trouble, task, hesitation, hesitation - look for your own, what will carry you to the positive or just calm down, extinguish emotions, to go on! After all, this is the second article that calls us to try to live on the positive. And it is true that any spoken word aloud carries the energy either positive or negative. You need to understand this, remember it and learn how to use it.
I will be honest, although I am an entrepreneur, but there was always the word "problem" in my vocabulary, and for example, talking to my hired director in the restaurant business, we always operated on this word and in connection with this we are really sad and in These same problems solved these torments. Here in the week, talking on the phone with him about similar "problems" here, I suddenly noticed a correlation between my mood and the word "problem". He always told me in telephone conversations that we have a problem here, and there is such a problem, and here it is necessary to solve this problem, etc. ... And I really catch myself thinking and feeling that somehow I am sad and melancholy and I do not really want to listen to all these problems. In the end, I suggested that he replace "problems" with "tasks" and an oh-oh-oh miracle happened. A couple of cases that were problems suddenly fell off and he said the words: "Dima, I can solve this by myself, there is no need for your intervention." Other cases have indeed acquired the status of "tasks", and we have worked constructively on these matters. " And the third conclusion is important to me: "A change in the very essence of the problem and conclusions." I will explain. We have advertised on plasma torches (this is the kind of advertising on street large billboards). To my question about the effectiveness of this advertising, initially there was such an answer: "I do not know, it seems to me that the problem is that we will not pay for it and most likely our 90 thousand have flown into the pipe." Imagine what it’s like for me, as the owner to hear that in my pipe for 90 thousand flies. As a result, when we started the game with problems and tasks, the answer was: "It’s too early to judge, because our task is to find out the effectiveness of this advertisement and understand whether to use it in the future or not. poll of visitors, and I can definitely draw conclusions on this task. " His second approach changes the essence at the root of the matter and plus, speaking of the emotional component, I did not have a sense of loss of money or ineffectiveness of the undertaking, as we do get solutions to the problem, such as identifying the need for plasmotron advertising for our business. Nikolai Ivanovich, turning all problems into tasks is an amazing finding.