Friendship and friendly relations: why, how, with whom?

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Each of us needs friends, everyone values ​​friendly relations, but in science the phenomenon of "friendship" and "friendly relations" has been studied so far poorly. Igor Semyonovich Kon, who even wrote a book called "Friendship", took it best. It came out in the 70s.

Speaking in general, friendship is a "non-sexual marriage". In the sense that people do not marry each other, but all other relationships, minus sexual, they still have. It is help, support, devotion, interest to each other, joint pastime. At the same time in marriage it happens more, but in friendship it is often more interesting and better. Friendship is the satisfaction of our needs for participation, support, and sharing of our impressions.

Приятели. Художник Маковский К.Е. 1895.
Приятели. Художник Маковский К.Е. 1895.

Friendly relations can be between people close and no, friends and friends. And maybe between them - and not to be. Different people put in the word Friends and Friend different content. Friends should not be confused only with friends. Friends are people with whom you can have fun, but nothing more. They differ from friends by the fact that friends can ask for help at a difficult moment, and friends - no. The right people are needed, useful contacts are useful, but this is not the same as friends. A separate conversation about what a true friend is like a friend. One thing can be said with certainty: good friends get to someone who knows how to be a good friend.

Usually we are friends with those who satisfy our needs - and whose needs we satisfy ourselves. Children have their own, children’s needs and their own characteristics of children’s friendship. Children in friendship are your property, interesting Toy, nice Feeder, you need a Faithful Druzhinnik, once, it s useful Foolish-rug ... In children’s friendship, everything is usually simple, open and clear. Childhood passes, some of the needs go away, something remains, but the needs of the so-called psychotherapeutic group are very important for a huge part of people: Warmer, Warm, Toilet, Golden Mirror...

Most people their friendship answers the question "Why": they are friends because ..., but more informed people are friends "In order to", their friendship has a meaning and purpose. Looking at friendship from this point of view, one can say that friendship is correct, promising and superfluous.

Friends are needed. Lack of a friend or friendship with anyone generally speaks of personal unhappiness and creates prerequisites for personal unhappiness. However, the circle of friends is a question of both the quantity and quality of friends. The choice of friends is the most important life task on which very much depends in the destiny of everyone. "Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are." See →

Friendship between a man and a woman

Friendship between a man and a woman is possible, but very often a man next to a woman just pretends to be her friend, having absolutely different kinds on her ↑. If you love each other, then learn to be friends. It’s hard to say that people love each other, if the relationship between them can not be called friendly. Good friendship is the basis of true love.

If you are friends, then many times think before you make love and sex in your relationship. The traditional idea of ​​friendly relations excludes the expression of sexual attraction, and in our culture, the introduction of love and sexual relations into friendships is a dangerous moment. Look Love and friendship

Female friendship

The fact that there can not be friendship between women is a myth. Female friendship is no different from friendship in general, but it has two characteristics. Firstly, it is typical for women to discuss and discuss their problems in detail - much more and more in detail than men do. Men more often live tasks and affairs, women more live problems and experiences. And the second feature: there is an age when friendship between women is really impossible. Little girls can be friends among themselves. Adult married women can be friends among themselves when they have a stable situation in their families.

But if the girls do not yet have their permanent partners, if the opportunity of competition for the same man remains, in this case between the girls can only be a temporary union, but not a real friendship. If a man stands up between women who likes both, this female friendship usually does not stand.

Friends and money

How to solve monetary issues with your friends? Can I use friends? Т.В. Gagin’s article Friends and money

Friendship at work

The friendly relations at work are beautiful in a good team and very dangerous in a company where people are not set to work. Especially in such companies, the existing friendly relations between the manager and key employees are dangerous: this enables employees to ignore the manager s demands, referring to them not as the requirements of the manager, but as to the wishes of a friend over which they can amicably laugh, arbitrarily otkommentirovat and in fact ignore . See a fragment from the movie "What Women Want": Nick Marshall - the head of the advertising department, the head of the company promised him the place of creative director, but in a situation where it was necessary to promote advertising for women, he decides to take on the position of the creative director a talented woman, Darcy McGueer. It would seem that it is difficult to inform the employee of the management decision. But if Nick is a friend, then this task turns out to be a real test ...


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