Автор: Н.И. Козлов

Working with emotions

Женский подход бережный и мягкий.
Женский подход бережный и мягкий.

Мужской подход прост, как у хирурга
Мужской подход прост, как у хирурга

Working with emotions is one of the ways of dealing with emotions, characteristic mainly for a soft and gentle female approach in psychotherapy. In this approach, it is considered that it is unproductive to struggle with undesirable emotions, the thesis of "Bad emotions does not happen" is often broadcast and it is suggested that any emotion be accepted first, as a living being caring for the client. Instead of a forceful approach to unwanted emotions, it is proposed to demonstrate to them a friendly and respectful approach, in the expectation of reciprocal reciprocity. Working with emotions assumes that any emotion is always something serious and significant, from which you can not just brush it off and ignore it; this is something to do seriously and probably for a long time, since you can not remove emotion, and it’s not easy to establish relations with it.

The employee can be fired, but the children have to be educated. This, of course, is a more difficult task.

Is it always necessary to treat the undesirable emotions in this way? Of course not. For example, a serious respect for the child’s fears is not always justified. Sometimes the frightened child is best helped by the cheerful look and cheerful voice of an adult: "Why are you afraid of such nonsense? Let’s go, I will show, it’s not scary at all!" Excessive attention to emotions reinforces them, and sometimes the less attention to unwanted emotion, the faster it passes.

Do not feed your fears with attention, and they will leave you.

If an undesirable and inappropriate emotion can simply be removed, it must be removed, not bothering with respect for her and long conversations with her, as is often done in deep psychotherapeutic work. Those mentally healthy and strong people, who are closer to the male approach, are more often chosen to cope with unwanted emotions, rather than engage in work with it.

If unwanted emotions (sadness, resentment, fear, guilt) are perceived as invaders, then the most natural and simple solution is to drive them away from their native land. To remove grief, to take offense, to overcome fear, to throw out unnecessary guilt from my mind...

However, if direct ways of removing emotions do not help and the exhausting war with emotions begins, it is very useful to consider the question, instead of war, to declare a truce and start with emotions, even sick and harmful, work, talk, seek opportunities to make friends with them. Sometimes, especially in the short term, this brings good results. In the long term, it seems more justified not to be afraid of unwanted emotions, treat any emotions calmly and with understanding, but if necessary, have the resources to promptly instill in the soul order, including by force. In any case, it is more useful to learn to live in such a way as to prevent the emergence of undesirable emotions, and to set tasks more positively: not to remove unwanted emotions, but to form the necessary emotional state. Do not remove the feeling of guilt, but put things in order in your head so that people do not think about wine, but about business. Do not take away fears, but strengthen your will and bring up courage.

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