Автор: Н.И. Козлов

Total YES

Фильм "Тот самый Мюнхгаузен"

Так договариваться быстрее!
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Фильм "Дживс и Вустер"

Тотальное ДА в исполнении Дживса - способ мягкого влияния на своего хозяина.
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Фильм "Джанго освобожденный"

Иногда, чтобы согласиться с собеседником, требуются крепкие нервы.
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Фильм "Топ модель"

С помощью ТДА даже резкую критику можно воспринимать в позитиве.
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Фильм "Базовый тренинг. Н.И. Козлов"

Тотальное ДА - это интеллектуальная работа, когда мы предполагаем, что в словах человека есть что-то разумное.
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Total YES is a communicative device that prohibits the use of the objecting "No" and prescribes to seek reasonable options for consent with the interlocutor.

In the mode of study - this is a strict ban on any "No" at the beginning of the phrase, in the mode of natural communication - the desire to escape from confrontation and the search for an opportunity to agree with the interlocutor. This skill and habit of hearing the reasonable in the words of the interlocutor, instead of errors and inaccuracies find new and interesting meanings for themselves.

Total YES helps to avoid unproductive disputes, save time; to keep in touch with the contactee, even when the positions are initially different; quicker to negotiate, to find common points of view; be able to find new meanings in the words of the interlocutor; to conduct his point of view, based on the views of the interlocutor. See →

When you are looking for and talking first and foremost about everything you agree with, you create the conditions for achieving your goals in communication with the most painless (for both parties) way. If you started a conversation with consent, this in itself sets up another person to listen, and not start immediately interrupting you with their objections. As a habit to agree with a reasonable, total YES is an element of syntonic communication.

You did not just hear the sensible (and did not say anything), you told the interlocutor that he was not in vain saying that he was heard. Usually people are important and pleasant.

Total YES is not a thoughtless compromise. In this approach, you accept that the interlocutor is not an enemy or a fool, that his words have some common sense and you are ready to hear it. As the ability to hear the interlocutor, hear the sensible and see the meaning in the opinions of others, total YES is a technique of constructive listening.

One woman says: "Earlier, when I was talking with men, I always objected to them, even inside myself. And since I was alive and smart, I usually did it successfully, and as a result, all men turned out to be stupid people. I try to hear the meaning in their words, and since I’m smart, I get it too, and around me there are many smart men around! "

Total YES is one of the required exercises at Distance, see → Where can you master this exercise? First of all, at the Summer Training of Syntone and at Distance.

Using the Total Yes, it is recommended to stay within the bounds of common sense and not to bring the situation to the point of absurdity. If you are asked: "Tell me, the manager is so-so?", It’s easier to answer directly "He’s not there" than to invent the designs: "Yes, you know, I think he will be later ..."

Safety: why you do not need Total Yes

You do not have to agree with everything that you are told, and even more so, you do not have to say "Yes" in critical situations.

Do not deceive, agreeing only for the sake of consent. Try to really understand the reasonable content.

The correct "Total YES" is an understanding not only of the rightness of the interlocutor, but also of one’s own tasks and interests.

It’s great when you hear the interlocutor; great when you want and can go to meet him; but it is even more interesting to make it so that your YES helps him to understand you and take steps in your direction.

Mastering TDA

Total YES is easier to master in stages. In the beginning, one should cleanse your speech of random, garbage "noon", then remove the external semantic "netks", without which you can do without it, after which it makes sense to start working in two directions - with the direction "no" and the direction "yes." The "no" direction is working with internal "no" and internal protests in general), working with "yes" is developing a habit itself to reasonable agreement, the ability to find reasonable compromises with the interlocutor. Negative work (working with one’s own objections) should be supplemented by positive work, work on developing the skill of reasonable consent. See →

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