People in the author’s position are many, more than this, this is the majority of normal, mentally healthy and active people who independently solve their life situations, who do not act out the difficulties of Durik, nor the unfortunate Sacrifice.
The author of his life - they talk about people strong, about those who do their own life, create himself. The position of the Author turns a person who lives only as an organism - into a person. However, you should not embellish the person in the position. Author: such a person is not at all holy and not necessarily very clever, among them there can be bandits and freaks ... It’s just the one who decides in life to act as sensibly as possible and for his actions, at least in front of him, to respond.
Being an author is not always easy. When the kid turns out to be the author of a broken cup, the question: "Who broke the cup?" he will answer more often: "I did not break it, it broke itself." Recognize your own, the copyright responsibility for what you did badly or unsuccessfully - do not want to. If you did it, you are responsible for it, and this can be already unpleasant, and hard.
The antipode of the author’s position is the position of the Sacrifice, when a person leaves responsibility, making an unfortunate person, justifying himself and hiding behind "circumstances." The victim is the one with whom he was made, whose actions or experiences were the result and who does not answer for what happened. A person goes to the Victim position when in a difficult situation (or even more so in principle in life) he refers to his helplessness and denies that he can change anything. When the position of the Sacrifice becomes familiar, helplessness does not leave a person, it becomes his usual sensation.
The author’s position also has a second antipode - the role of Durik. This role, also familiar to us from childhood, when it was enough to turn off the brains in a difficult situation, do not think about or worry about anything, pretending that nothing happened, and they do not understand at all, because of what the problem is: they play the role of Durik .
Remember Carlson’s always cheerful? He always has everything in order, "business is everyday."
What is the author’s position on life? First of all, in the habit in difficult situations, do not experience, but act. Experience is a way of attracting sympathetic attention, an attempt to get yourself a forgiveness in advance of a possible failure: "You will not finish off someone who is already so bad?" The author does not play these games, he prefers not to "ass assort himself", but to seek opportunities to really solve life problems.
The person in the author’s position lives in the future. The past is past, the present is with us, and we can make our future ourselves. As far as we are the creators of our future, so we are the Authors of our life. The author of life is not inclined to mindlessly obey the circumstances and does not hurry to bow his head in front of obstacles, he is ready to fight, making the most of his will and his mind. The author of his life is not inclined to take a given type of "once it is, it’s all right," he always tries on what is available for his goals and tasks, he is accustomed to tailoring his life "according to his own patterns." He whenever possible forms the environment, searches and gets relations with those who is interesting to it and stops attitudes with those with whom relations are not perspective. The person in the position of the Author is not necessarily an egoist, he simply decides when to take care of himself correctly, and when about others.
It is not true that the author lives without emotion, he actively uses his emotions, putting himself in the service. He is ready to infect his friends with his enthusiasm, to encourage his own energy of his colleagues and employees, to convey his love to his relatives. Here, while everything is simple: when you use your emotions to solve your problems - you are the Author. When emotions subordinate you to yourself - you are the Sacrifice.
It is more difficult to understand when a person consciously includes insult and plays helplessness to force another person to do what he wants. Is this person the Author or the Sacrifice? Outside - Victim, from the inside - quite author’s position. This behavior of the "pseudo-victim" is more often female, it is quite socially accepted and is supported primarily by men who like to demonstrate their own competence against the background of female allegedly helplessness. Likewise, if a girl knows how to pretend to be stupid, the man himself will take responsibility for solving a difficult situation ... You probably know all this well.
It is clear that the author’s life position presupposes the possession of his emotions, but the person in the position of the Author is not one who lives impeccably, but one who is ready to learn it. It’s not enough just to get into the position of the Author about your own emotions, learn to answer for your emotions and mood, to control yourself. However, what is difficult for adolescents, adults already know how. A talented negotiator is responsible for his emotions in negotiations as well as for the figures he is voicing. The real leader is responsible for his emotions as well as for the quality of his orders. A loving mother is naturally responsible for the fact that she loves her children always, and not in the mood.
Most of all pushes people to the position of the author of someone’s living and strong pattern - and a timely demand: "You can, you - you can do it, you must!" One of the key moments in the formation of new behavior and lifestyle is the moment of making an internal decision: "Yes, I want to be the author of my life!" This decision is important to make a memorable, bright event, which will be supported not only by a decision in the soul, but also by a memorable external entourage: the commitments made in front of the audience, with loud applause in response. Will the commitment of man in his life? You can name the conditions that contribute to this. The main thing is that it’s a beautiful, strong sample of author’s behavior, and the more often this pattern is in front of your eyes, the better. The second condition is a company of like-minded people who push a person to such a way of life, support him, remind him of his decision, emphasize his successes, treat him like-to the Author.
If there is no such company, the position of the Author can be earned independently. To become the Author of your life, it is enough to start doing fairly simple things. But it is important - they really do! If you decide to make a commitment to yourself - write them down. And execute them!
Author and Victim in Practical Psychology
As a rule, the client’s replacement of his position on the author’s should be prepared both by establishing a contact with the psychologist and normalizing the client’s condition. If the girl is completely in disassembled feelings, her eyes float or in tears, then demanding from her the position of the Author is premature, before that one needs to work with the emotions and state of the client.