Автор: Н.И. Козлов


Без официальной регистрации отношений такого делать не полагается. Да?
Без официальной регистрации отношений такого делать не полагается. Да?

Musturbation - tough, absolutist, not taking into account the realities, categorically-normative and persistent ideas about what life should be and what kind of relations people should have. This is the establishment of a framework that is not needed by either itself or other people, limiting thinking and opportunities. It is a philosophy of absolute obligation.

The concept was introduced by Ellis. His "musturbation" is a play of words: "must" (should, must) and "masturbation" (masturbation), and in this translation E.N. Other options for translation - "must-mania" and "must-have" - ​​are significantly less accurate.

If we follow the ideas of the REBT, the main rotten root of all human pathological passions and insane deeds is from the furious cry of parents to the child, who does not want to eat everything that they want to shove, to suicide bombers who consider it their duty to tailor the life of all mankind to their miserable ideas about the world order, can in fact be reduced to a bi-directional canonism.

External cannonism consists in the demand for peace and for other people to rigidly, absolutely unequivocally comply with certain laws and rules, and the question of where and how they originated is not seriously and seriously investigated. The observed inconsistencies are perceived as a grave personal insult and as a call for the immediate eradication of these unnatural perversions.

Internal cannonism is expressed in the demand for oneself to be rigid and unambiguous (so that it always stands and does not deviate anywhere) within the framework of again certain norms and rules, which are unknown from whence fallen down, and in relation to any deviations as intolerable sins.

It is based on beliefs - uncritically mastered and not subject to criticism about oneself, people and the world, but represents their more offensive, aggressive form. Irrational beliefs are often formed already in childhood and manifest inadequate requirements for themselves, others and the world around them. They are often based on narcissism or a complex of greatness. Ellis ( 979a, 979b; Ellis and Harper, 979) describes these requirements in the form of three basic "Must":

I must: (do well in business, get the approval of others, etc.)

You must: (it’s good for me to treat, love me, etc.)

The world should: (give me quickly and easily what I want, be fair to me, etc.)

Examples from the consultations

1. Psychotherapist (Q): Suppose, when you left home this morning, you said to yourself: "I would like to take with me five dollars today, I do not need any more. Although it is not necessary, but still I would (9 :) preferred to have five dollars with me. " Later, you found in your pocket only four dollars. How do you think you would feel?

Patient (P): I think I would be upset.

Q: That’s right! You would be upset or sorry, but you would not be finished with this. And now imagine that when leaving the house you said to yourself: "I must take with me five dollars today, no more. But I must always have this money with me. " Later it turned out that you only have four dollars. How would you feel?

P: I think I would be very upset.

Q: You certainly would be upset if you found that you do not have what you MUST have. Now, suppose you also thought that you should always have five dollars, but in your pocket you had six dollars. How would you feel?

P: Would be happy. Maybe even too much?

Q: Yes, maybe you would feel happy, but soon you would again experience anxiety. Do you know why?

P: No.

Q: Suppose you lost two dollars or spent, or you were robbed. You see, in any case, you feel unhappy when you think you MUST have anything. You are worried when you do not have it and also worry when there is!

P: (crying)

Q: You are clearly upset about something, Jean. What are you thinking about now?

P: I’m so afraid of bursting into tears at work. I can lose control of myself in the presence of my colleagues.

Q: What would be so terrible about this?

P: I can not stand it.

Q: Well, what’s the worst thing that you think can happen? If you lost control, would you be angry at every counter? Would you be unable to do anything?

P: (smiling) Not-e-e-t. I think that I just would not want others to notice my bad mood.

Q: And if they had noticed, would that have been so bad?

P: Hmmm. You are right, it would not be so awful. (56 :)

Q: Okay, so, can we let you get upset even more when you’re not in the mood?

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