Эти мужчины владеть собой и своими эмоциями - могут. Владеют своими эмоциями все талантливые руководители.
Что делать, если вас захватывают неуправляемые переживания
Possession of emotions is the ability to induce the necessary emotion, keep it and clean it when it no longer needs to be. This is one of the components of managing emotions.
When a person is told: "He knows how to control himself!", Usually they mean how much he knows how to own his emotions. Possession of emotions is not just the ability to hide one’s anger or calmly step in to meet the danger. It’s also the ability to sincerely smile towards someone who is gloomy, the ability to be a warm sun for tired people around or to energize everyone who has blossomed or relaxed with his energy.
For many people owning emotions is as natural as holding hands or feet, and they do it without any special techniques.
What techniques do you use to raise your right arm? To hold it at the top? To put it down?
In fact, the naturalness of owning at least hands-feet, even emotions - is not entirely natural. Little children initially do not know how to handle their pens, and when a child accidentally hits his face with his pen, he looks with interest: what is it that strikes him? Managing their own hands, children learn by all the rules of learning, although the techniques used and do not realize.
But when Milton Erikson received paralysis and was deprived of the opportunity to own his own hands and feet, he for several years restored this ability, using special techniques. When he restored, he taught his hands and feet to obey himself - eventually he began to use them again naturally, without techniques.
Total: the apparent naturalness of possession of emotions conceals a time when emotions did not obey us, and they could only be manipulated "artificially" using special techniques and techniques.
Criteria for owning emotions
The criteria for owning emotions are likely to be the same as the criteria for owning hands-feet.
Everything seems to be hands, but there are deft and crooked hands, awkward when a person seems to own hands, but everything falls from his hands and he touches them all ... Athletes and dancers have more coordinated hands than those who sports and dancing did not do. In this case, even if the athlete is offered to raise his hands and hold them, and then put 500 kg on his arm, he most likely puts his arms down - the load can not stand.
Also with emotions. Someone owns their emotions easily, skillfully and dexterously, and who with delays and is so crooked that his joy can be sickening. In emotionally trained people, emotions are more accurate and beautiful than those who did not. In this case, even if the most trained to put a constant and intense stress in the situation, to beat both the body and emotionally difficult points, then, most likely, his emotional state will be knocked down.
Everything is as in life.
Mastering the art of owning emotions
Children first learn to own their innate emotions (a complex of animation, discontent, anger ...), later, especially intensively from 2 to 5 years, master the main arsenal of social emotions living in a culture (shyness, resentment, confusion, frustration, desperation, horror ...). Then there are two differently directed processes. On the one hand, the mastering of skills, the enrichment of the emotional palette, acquaintance with higher emotions and feelings (gratitude, love, tenderness) are constantly being perfected. On the other hand, starting from the age of 5, the opposite trend begins to develop in children, namely, the gradual degradation of the art of owning one s emotions. Children learn to freely start and stop their emotions, accustom themselves to shift responsibility for the emergence of emotions and feelings to actions and surrounding and external circumstances, their emotions become an involuntary reaction to what is happening in their lives. Why, why? See →