Что делать с собственным эгоизмом?
Changing our own and others’ personal role, we change the entire motivational situation as a whole.
- You are talented, you will succeed. Please connect a computer!
Everything, the guy goes and works. What moved him to this? The role of the TALENT. Obviously, this is a local specification of a more general formula: "You are a real man, you can do it!" According to the situation, real men are able and must take out the trash, go to the store, wash the dishes, conclude a profitable contract, perform a feat, etc. those who remember it, in time remind it to those who know it. That they all did it.
A real man is a role, the same as the role of a Woman. In accordance with this role, at least according to the opinion of men, women should lay on the table, wash dishes and not climb into men’s conversations, with which women in the role of feminist women categorically disagree.
For their part, almost all women recall this role when they defend their rights to flowers, cuddly whims, tears and chatter. When meeting with the inspector GAI women all the body and clapping eyelashes insist that they are not drivers of the vehicle, but only beautiful and weak women.
Reminding you of your role, people control you. Remembering your role, you manage yourself.
At work, the boss reminds you: "They work at work!" - and you (want to believe) remember your role as an employee, in the evening your beloved looks you in the eyes in which you read: "In the whole world there are only two - you and me "- and become a romantic lover ...
And what to do about it?
Understand when role expectations are applied in relation to you, and most purposefully apply them to yourself and others. Successful people, leaders, differ from all others in that they simply learn (master) the script of all the roles they need, and then confidently carry out this scenario they need - or, when encountering difficulties, they are squeezed.
By accustoming ourselves to a new role, we form a new personality, become a new person.
As Konstantin Vanshenkin wrote,
Coward pretended to be brave in war,
Because cowards were not allowed to descend.
He, pale, went into battle on his armor,
He languidly joked at a halt.
He just turned and shook,
When we were under bombardment.
But he hid the fear carefully and evil.
And he achieved his own little by little.
And so he entered the role, that at last
He became a brave, almost natural.
It would be nice if, say, a scoundrel
Forever pretended to be noble.
Hiding meanness, day by day
The same showed perseverance.
In everything else, naturalness is appreciating,
I greet such pretense!