Speaking about family values (you will agree, this is a fairly broad concept), let s concretize what most of us mean. Most likely, these are the principles of mutual relations between spouses, and in relations between parents and children, which include: love, care, mutual understanding, patience, loyalty, sacrifice, respect, compassion, mutual support, honesty, sincerity, trust and much more. Are they important? Allow me to answer for you. They are not just important, they are the fundamental unshakable foundation of any happy family. And this is without exaggeration. Remove from the relationship at least one "small" parameter - and see what a few years, and maybe months, this family will turn into.
"Yes," you will say. - Theoretically, everything is clear and simple. But, my God, you would have known my husband ... "or" Yes, modern society generally forgot what family values are! TV should be watched more often "or" Of course, it is said beautifully. But where, sorry, is this life? You are talking about a non-existent idyll. "
You are all completely right in your own way. Firstly, by forming a new family, two people bring in their family values (if they were, of course, at all) of their parents. And this is a conflict of views. Secondly, modern media, morality and the "sexual revolution" really propagate treason, free relations, satisfaction of one’s own needs, civil marriages, selfishness. And young people, "zombie" this information, create families, but in the next 1-5 years with a whistle scandalously divorced, as their joint life turns into hell. Thirdly, I would not have the right to teach you life if I did not live as I write. Therefore, my dear, believe that with labor and patience you can turn your family into a real idyll. But, again, only by work and patience.
We can come up with or find a million reasons why our families lack family values. But, tell me, is not the search for the guilty a lot for the strong? Are not we responsible for our lives and the lives of our families? Do we have the right to shift responsibility for the upbringing of our children to society?
Perhaps, something is not working for us today, just because we do not know something. But it does not matter. Walking, reading, preparing borscht, applying makeup - we also once learned. And in the beginning was "not very". But now we are aces.
So, we are strong, wise, confident in ourselves and dreaming of positive changes in our families, women. Our goal: to introduce and concretize in our nests those values that we consider important in the relationship with our "precious" (I’m talking about husbands) and our children. And we do not have much time. Where to begin?
1) Get a diary or notebook (this is very important) for fixing your observations and changes.
2 ) List and write down under numbers 1,2,3, ... all the family values that you want to incorporate into your relationships. For example:
1) love, 2) trust, 3) respect, etc.
3) Opposite each item, write how you and your husband can manifest these values in practice. For example:
You: 1) cook on time dinner, 2) do not refuse to spouse in sex,
Husband: 1) speak to you gentle words, etc.
Trust: You: 1) I will not call my husband every half hour with the question: "Where are you?", 2) I will stop controlling my husband when he is at home doing his own business,
Husband: 1) Will let you go to "devishniki", etc.
Respect: You: 1) During quarrels and conflicts I will stop insulting my husband with the words: "Idiot", "Ill", "Loser", 2) When solving any questions, I will always consult my husband, showing the importance of his opinion for me, 3) Even if my husband earns less today, I will still respect him for diligence and diligence.
Husband:1) Will appreciate your opinion, listen to your advice, etc.
4) Take for yourself a certain period: a week, two weeks, a month and start implementing one by one each of the items, gradually adding the following. Write down all your achievements daily in your diary.
THE MOST IMPORTANT NOTE: do not expect anything from your husband! The purpose of the exercise is to teach oneself without a reaction to manifest the declared family values that are so important to you. If you start demanding from your husband the execution of your "points" - you squandered the accumulated. Start over. By the way, my husband does not need to know about your "project".
You can go and a little different way. In the article "Our Family Values" presents the real values of a happy family, perhaps it is worth discussing with the husband and further improving relations in the family already under his leadership.
Well, that’s all ... Difficult? Believe from personal experience - yes. Work on your character is the hardest thing that is possible for a person. You ask: when will you see the result? I answer: as soon as you change yourself. Everything, absolutely everything in our life begins to change when we change: and the people around us, and relationships, and even circumstances. How much time do you need? Difficult question. It took me 3 years. Much or little - everyone has their own parameters. But remember that laying the foundation of your relationship, you can safely build your bright, beautiful future for both you and your husband and your children. Remember that it took us 5, and someone and 7 years of life to learn and get an education for some specialty. And we tolerated: both tedious lectures, and sleepless nights before exams, and "strange" teachers, and unfair assessments. So are we really less important to our own family? If we think that if it does not work out this time, we will divorce and "light" build another happy family, this is self-deception. Without labor, family happiness does not happen. And values do not become values in themselves. To get a diamond, over a piece of diamond work more than one day.
"Patience and work will all tear» - says people’s wisdom. Roll up your sleeves, start introducing family values into your daily life, and the result will surpass even the most daring of your dreams.
Good luck to you!