Автор: Н.И. Козлов

Male and female upbringing

​​​​​​​Men and women have their own culture and their own psychology, hence some differences in the approach to education. Of course, the description below is some exaggeration and simplification, helping to identify important points for practice, helping men better understand women, and women - men. And do not tire of repeating: the male model of upbringing is inherent in some women, as well as some men approach to education can be quite feminine.

A woman in a child loves a small, man - an adult.

A woman in a child loves a small, man - an adult. The most affectionate of a woman: "You are my little one!", This she rewards and beloved man, when he feels tenderness for him. "Well, you’re an adult." You’re a man! " is a man’s reward. See →

The male is the resultant. The woman is a procession.

A man does not live by the process, the man is fixed to a specific result. A man will respect himself as an educator, not when he raised a good admittedly son, but only when he raised his son exactly what he had planned. See →

A woman does not think about the final result, she lives the life process. It is important for her that the child is to be fed, that she loves him and that all this happens at all times, that everything is just fine ...

Well - that means good, normal. A woman will never rest on a specific desired result with the desired indicators - this is not women’s thinking. Women are more likely processers: it is important for them to ensure that everything goes in a normal way.

A man is a certainty. Women are fluidity.

Men are looking for certainty in everything. If he takes up education, it is important for him to understand: whom he wants to bring up, what kind of characteristics and indicators his child should have. Men like precision in goal setting and algorithmic description of technology: procedures, steps, consistency ...

In women from all this in the eyes - only horror.

Women describe everything in the mode of the current process, reflecting primarily their feelings and conditions that accompany what is happening.

When such a man hears - he goes mad ...

Men are responsibility. A woman is a caring.

A man, having thought up an image of the one whom he wants to bring up, assumes the responsibility that we will educate such a child. He asks himself exactly as a result - he did it or did not. He will be proud of himself for the final result, or he will consider himself responsible if the result is different, below the one conceived. The key word for a man is responsibility.

Women are different. Women can talk about responsibility, but only men, because they know their language, or about men, when they do not do something from what they promised. Women speak a different language among themselves, seriously they do not understand responsibility with its strict certainty, the soft nature of caring is closer to female nature: the state of the process of love and care. A woman knows - if she is caring, if she has a love state and desire to be near the child, everything will be fine.

Women are unconditional love. Men are exacting.

A woman loves a child as he is, a man demands that the child conform to what he needs. If a man himself loves with high self-esteem and his son, he sets a high standard of requirements for the child in advance: "It’s not anyone who grows, but my son!"

A woman has unconditional love, it is not so important for her whether her children will be perfect and meet some high criteria: all these criteria are not hers, but children are her own and her relatives: a woman is more important that God forbid them nothing happens. Of course, a woman will be upset if her children turn out to be much worse than others, but the woman will not stand against the "quality" and "perfection" of her children: "Healthy, normal, not worse than others - and thank God!"

To harness the child with demands, all the more seriously and methodically-no, it’s against women’s nature. She is closer: "The child has one responsibility - to be a child!" and "The child does not owe anything to anyone!"

Men are the use of force and rigid methodicalness. A woman is a warmth and a feeling.

For a man, the use of force is natural. The man is Silovik. For the pope it’s normal to give a pope, for a boy it’s ok to get a pop. Boys are kicking and fighting, this is their norm of life, only parents, or rather, moms, are affected by this. A real man knows how to be restrained and will never hit in vain, but if you need to call a child to order and the account once a child does not understand it, he will do it without hesitation.

Women approach Siloviki not close, they profess the approach of Dushka. Women believe in the positive attitude of the child and are careful how not to lose it. Women have more fears, they can not afford those harsh measures that men consider perfectly normal. Women do not like to force them to interact with children - and they avoid it in every possible way. That’s what happens: my mother tries to explain and persuade children softly day after day, month after month, then she does not have enough nerves-she screamed, made a fit of hysteria, decided something, but it’s not right to act like that regularly ... She again reminds, asks and persuades - and so on until the next scandal.

Following her feelings, a woman more often than a man cautious ("Put on a scarf, catch a cold!"), Mom’s predominant motivation is motivation "from" ("Whatever happens ...").

The man - the motivation "to", the motivation to achieve. Living with the mind, a man more often requires discipline and development. A man asks a child the direction and purpose of his life and development, determines the standard of living below which the child is not allowed to lower, exposes the requirements (rigid walls) - and then makes it work.

The woman provides the flow, involvement, warmth and support, the solution of private, current and tactical issues, in particular, the correction of male drifts.

Mum supports the feelings of the child, the dad requires behavior

When the boy is brought up by the mother, she respects the masculine in him, that is, believes in this beginning, reinforces his manifestations and tries not to destroy these fragile (in the female vision) sprouts.

She is afraid of killing the child and pointing out his mistakes, because the child can be upset and lose faith in himself.

When a boy is brought up by his father, he does not respect the masculine in him. Respect is too gentle, and a man is tougher: he knows that his son is not a weakling, and he demands a man’s beginning in his son.

A good father will not interrupt his son unnecessarily, but a real father is not afraid to do it. The father is not afraid, because the boy will not have unnecessary feelings and emotions without the permission of the father. To be upset means to make an unhappy face and to lower the helpless shoulders. Who authorized? Correct your hangers! Ten squats, more cheerful, and for the cause! Do not peep!

Situations

In the morning the son walks dreary, no, unfriendly, on "Good morning!" parents are barking "Hello." The usual female reaction: "Son, what’s bothering you? Did not get enough sleep? How are you feeling? Any trouble?". A normal male reaction: "So, son, what’s going on?" When your parents greet you normally, be kind, react appropriately, affectionately, and even better - do not wait until parents do it, start it yourself. "So, we rehearse:" Good morning! "(We get a friendly reply.) And if there are any problems, say, I will help with pleasure."

Recommendation

Dear men, do not be angry with women when they are pressed and manipulated - women do not really see it. Dear women, do not be angry with men when they are angry with you and require you to stop pressure and manipulation - they are right, you really do it. See →

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