Автор: Н.И. Козлов

Not our customer

​​​​​​​Not our client - a client with whom psychological counseling is inappropriate. At least, you are inappropriate. When such clients come to you, you can deny them with a clear conscience - working with them goes beyond your professional qualifications. If you decide to work, it is completely your free initiative, your risks and your responsibility.

People who do not want and are not ready to change

The most frequent clients with whom it makes no sense to work at their request are people who do not want and are not ready to change. What kind of people are they, why and why do they come to a psychologist?

Firstly, it’s the "Magic Tablet Searchers": people who rely on the Magic Council, which they will be given by a psychologist and who immediately and easily solve all of his problems and generally change his life. And he does not have to do anything for this.

However, sometimes, after the explanations of the psychologist, these people change their position and agree to some reasonable efforts.

Secondly, they are "Commanders": people who lead to a psychologist of their loved ones and want a psychologist to achieve something from them: that the children begin to do homework, the daughter-in-law stops being rude to her, and her husband stops drinking.

The bottom line is not that you can not influence children, a daughter-in-law or a husband: it is possible, and sometimes necessary. The bottom line is that these Commanders want all this for them to be done by a psychologist, and they do not change anything in themselves. No, it’s unreal.

Thirdly, these are "Players": people who have fun or want to play with a consultant in manipulative games, far from the tasks of counseling. The options are sufficient: the client flirts, using allegedly consulting to "glue" the consultant. Or: it is included in the game «I’ll Replay You", setting the task to show the therapist. that it will not work. In such cases, it is naive to continue psychological counseling - hardly appropriate.

However, if the psychologist has the opportunity and the desire to "rebuild" the client and create a constructive motivation for him - this "not our client" can become "our".

Non-profile clients

Sometimes, it’s not the specialized clients who come to the psychologist-clients who seem more correct to direct (at least initially) to other specialists, primarily to doctors. If the psychologist does not have special training, then psychopaths, schizophrenic patients with a diagnosis, especially in a state of exacerbation - are obviously not clients of a psychologist...

However, in light cases, psychiatrists sometimes send their clients to psychologists, and this is quite appropriate. If the case requires joint efforts, it is necessary to work together.

Non-profile for the psychologist are clients with psychosomatics in earnest: neurodermatitis, allergies, migraines - all of these diseases must first of all be dealt with by doctors. Only if the doctors refused and they themselves send the client to you as a psychologist, then after talking with a doctor you can start working with similar clients.

Distressed physical conditions and diseases that give a serious background to the psychological state, also you call - or work more cautiously, or this client is not yours. Depression, which is not intended by a bored lady, but a real depression - is treated all the same in the first place by a doctor, not a psychologist. Pregnant women easily create internal psychological problems, but these problems quickly go along with the normalization of their hormonal background than with the help of psychological analysis.

Non-profile for the psychologist are customers with requests for magic - customers with requests to charm or remove the spell, triggering conversations about otherworldly worlds, aliens and other entities inaccessible to the human mind. Controversial case - customers interested in a variety of esoteric, loving tarot cards and astrology. Working in their language and in the framework of their understanding, with these people, it is quite possible that quite productive work can be accomplished, but it is hardly correct to regard such work as professional.

As a rule, with extreme caution, one should react to clients connected with the world of crime, having a criminal present or complaints about crime. If you yourself are not very familiar with the world of crime, your work in this direction can be dangerous for your client and for you.

Finally, there is one more item that might be worth putting first: if a client comes to us with whom we do not know what to do, for which we do not have enough professional knowledge to work with, it is not our client. Professional work - work exclusively within the limits of the professional competence, and a phrase: "I can not help you, I in your question the expert is not" speaks about high professional honesty. And if after that a clue followed, to which specialist it makes sense to apply, then we have already helped the client qualitatively.

Customer inquiries, from which are ridiculous and sad

Below - questions to psychologists who, directly or indirectly (in meaning) were voiced during various sessions. Based on real events.

• Tell me what I want?

• Explain to me how to learn to relax, but keep in mind that I have no time for anything.

• I need to part with the guy, but so that he continues to love me.

• How can I quit a person whom I do not want to leave?

• How to gain confidence in this world of scum and scum?

• How can I explain to my wife that if she leaves me, will it be better for her?

• How do I stop feeling and start to live normally?

• I want to not want to want.

• I’m afraid of my wife. I want her to be afraid of me, too.

• Show me how you work, not on me - I need to make a decision, take you to myself the therapist or not.

• It annoys me when my husband threatens to kill me. How not to get irritated?

• Tell me, does your social status really help me?

• I am a strong and confident woman, I never complain about any of my problems. Why does everyone consider me problem-free and nobody wants to help ?!

• I’m a fat, worthless pimply freak. Why do girls not see my virtues?

• Teach you how to throw women correctly, or they somehow want explanations.

• I have read so many books on psychology. This is nonsense. Prove that this is not so.

• I try my best to keep both at work and at home. Where do I need to make further efforts to finally start to manage?

• I am always in a hurry, too pushing events ... Although, as I think, you will not help here.

• My child does not eat well, stutters, is afraid of other children and has an enuresis. How to make him eat well?

• I really love the guy, but he does not ... How can he get revenge for this?

• He beats me, teases me and constantly threatens with divorce. Can you explain to him that divorce is too much?

• I have a very, very, very difficult problem. Unique is simple. I was already at many psychologists ... Nobody has helped ... Than you are better?

Probably, the requests of such customers are not our requests.

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