Этот папа не считал нужным быть требовательным к детям, теперь они его просто игнорируют - «Успокойся, ты делаешь мне больно, псих!»
If parents want to successfully educate their children, they need to take care of their authority. It’s not always easy. The authority of parents from the sky does not fall. The fact that you gave birth to a child and brought up, in itself for the child is not an argument: "Did I ask you about this?" The fact that you are older and smarter for a teenager may not mean anything: "And it does not concern me!". If parents do not have authority, if parents do not take care to form their own authority, their words and orders will be ignored by children and, moreover, be perceived with hostility as conflict agents: "What are you preventing us from doing our own business?"
Authorities should be formed . The authority to form is possible. How?
The authority of parents begins with the dignity of their lives. If the pope drinks, and the slut’s mother, their pedagogical conversations with the children are unlikely to be effective. Parents have authority when they are really smarter, more mature and more responsible than their children.
The authority of parents is supported by the environment. The authority of parents is strengthened if it is supported by the environment. In cultures where the authority of parents is traditionally high, it is easier to raise children. What can we do? - We, adults can take care of the authority of each other. Well, if the authority of the pope is supported by both mother and grandmother. That s right, if the authority of the mother is maintained by the father and mother-in-law, and by all other significant adults. In a good family, if the child shows disrespect to the mother, the mother does not need to worry: the father will explain to the child how to treat the mother. In the opposite direction - the same. The rule is simple: "The authority of the mother is protected by the father. The authority of the father is protected by my mother. "
The closest natural requirement is the co-ordination of the actions of the parents.
Authority is a combination of care and exactingness. The authority of parents grows when parents combine in their approach diligence and exactingness. Children need to be loved and at the same time to ensure that children behave properly, including in relation to their parents. If children check parents for strength, parents should show their firmness. Demand without care is perceived as pressure, care without exactingness does not cause respect: children quickly "sit on their necks." The effective impact formula: "A smart man with an iron hand in a velvet glove." Learn exacting! Accustom yourself to caring!
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Authority decreases and disappears when parents are demanding without care and, moreover, mock the child.
Watch the video from the movie "Major Payne." Major Payne was in a tough confrontation with children who did not want military training, but his exactingness was always caring: "It will be necessary for you!" And he was able to prove to the children that he really cares about them. The stepfather who came to his son is drunk and disgusted, and his demands to obey are rather a desire to humiliate and feel his own superiority.
What are the requirements for children working to increase the authority of their parents? - First, children should know what is the format of communication with elders, and this format should be observed. Secondly, children need to be taught to follow orders from their parents. And, thirdly, in the situation of the child’s testing of parental stability, parents need to show firmness.