Teenagers are a difficult age, they object to imposing something from the outside and are ready to fight for their freedom. On the other hand, this is the time when parents are obliged to prepare them for adulthood, where responsibility and self-control are necessary.
Teach a teenager to keep a reasonable format
Do you have a good family? Then your task is for your children to know very clearly that communication is unacceptably categorical, where the skirting board, below which in your family can not be lowered. Even angered, you can never use obscene language. When talking with parents, one should not be disrespectful: to sit emphatically lounging, not to answer questions and show that these questions bother you. I do not agree - clearly and comprehensively, with respect to parents, say, with what you agree, with what is not - and what you offer. If there is a rule (we go to bed at 22.00), then without the permission of the elders it can not be changed. "To inform" (that is, to put before the fact) is normal only in a situation of force majeure and when it is impossible to discuss an emergency situation with the elders. If the elders were available, at least by phone, then make independent decisions in violation of the agreements - a violation of the family law. See →
Learning life skills and upbringing
Adolescents can themselves determine what they think is right to teach themselves for the life to come, but the daily education of manners, manners and useful social skills must be. This can be helped by the methods of the School of Good Manners and the Educational Table.
Responsibility for their own purposes
Adolescents must have their own goals and achieve them (move towards their achievement) according to plan. Goals and plans can be developed completely independently, can (and in principle it is more reasonable) together with parents. But if they accepted them, now it should not remain dreams and good intentions, now these are obligations (to oneself) that they are obliged to fulfill.
Like grown-up people. And parents can and should ask them whether they fulfill their own goals and obligations (not imposed by someone else, but their own!) Or not.
Fragment from the article: "These are the things that my daughters Sofia and Louise were never allowed to do: go to parties with an overnight stay, make friends, participate in school plays, complain that they are not allowed to participate in school plays, watch TV or play computer games, choose their own electives, choose ratings below the "five", do not be "student number " in any subject other than physical education and drama ... ", see →
Feedback from the Syntone Forum: I agree with this list on all hundred: nefig to schoolboys to be dragged on, where at night, and early cupids, in general, something, to anything. School amateur performance is usually at a very low level, and there is no point in spending time on it, telecom and computer games are the path to degradation. They go to school to study, and not hang out and have fun, and bad to study in school - has no excuses (if the child is healthy and reined). There are, of course, and troecs-Einsteins, but more often they are just loafers. It is normal to study for five students. This does not mean that we have to make hysterics because of the four, but the result should be on the level. Electives are better coordinated by parents. I’ll give my son to chess, let my brains train. And in the sports section, something like track and field, while small. I would like to play music, piano or guitar, but let’s look at abilities. I can teach music and selection myself.
Possible variant of talking with a teenager, that he was doing lessons, and not having fun at the computer: "Seryozha wants to rest at the computer."