Respect in the Eastern Family
In the Eastern family, girls are taught from an early age to treat the man with unconditional respect only on the grounds that he is a man. A man in the East is an earthly god and Lord. To read, obey and take care is not just a tradition, it is introduced into the rank of the law.
For example, the wife is obliged to serve her husband at the table, thereby showing respect. In India, washing the feet of a loved one is a sign of a higher respect for her husband. In Egypt, to appear before the husband in an unseemly kind in an old robe and unkempt - a sign of disrespect. The most terrible misdemeanor in the Egyptian family, after which the spouse has the right to drive his wife out of the house forever, is to tell him that he does not provide for the family - because that’s why the wife calls into question the masculinity of her husband.
Respect in a European family
In a modern European family, the respect is that the spouses recognize: both the husband and the wife are a separate, independent personality with qualities and merits. Respect is a respectful attitude towards his aspirations, actions and decisions. Respect is the warm acceptance of another person and the realization of his value and importance.
To respect a man means:
• To recognize his authority and the status of a leader, the "head of the family";
• Respects his physical and male sexual power;
• Recognize his mind and abilities;
• Respectful of his merits and achievements;
• Respect his interests and hobbies;
• Recognize his dignity;
• Trust his decisions;
• Respectful address to a man, absence of contemptuous and arrogant hues in his voice;
• Respect for the personal space of a man (phone, computer, diary, diary) and also to his relatives and friends;
For more information see the men’s language: the language of respect...
Often in the family rules can be adopted that show respect, for example, to meet a husband at the door or, to give the man a first plate with lunch. Here, respect emphasizes the status of men.
Many of the list can be attributed to a woman, but there are certain differences.
To respect a woman means:
• To recognize a woman as a separate and unique person (she is special, not like everyone else);
• Recognize its attractiveness and sexuality;
• For a woman, the correct tone of voice is important, correct and not offensive words;
• Respect for the work of a woman in her actions aimed at creating comfortable conditions;
• Equal treatment of the woman, the woman wants to feel her active participation in the family;
• Respect for her emotions and feelings;
A sign of disrespect is the lack of attention on the part of men. Extreme disrespect is assault, shouting and insult. Treason - can be assessed not just as disrespect, but a crime against the values of the family.
For women, the concept of love and respect is closely intertwined. Disrespect is often a sign of a lack of love. If a family respects people comfortably nearby, their point of view is easy and without fear. The presence of respect in the family can also be shown by a stable and high self-esteem. For example, a woman in such a family will feel loved, and her husband feel the main member of the family.
Why the family is losing respect
One of the reasons for the loss of respect is the inability to observe the territory of another person. We forget that even a close and dear person who is now near when he was unfamiliar and alien, do not perceive him as an individual with his own shortcomings and virtues. We do not see merit and notice shortcomings.
When two people just met and fell in love with respecting each other is not difficult, because all the attention, actions and desires are aimed only at one person.
Lovers try to become one whole drawing together so as to maximally open each other. And over time, the boundaries between me and the other person are blurred, it seems that the other is a continuation. and I can treat him as well as myself. And this means to control the other, demand something from him, he now owes me something. And when love passes, the relationship comes to a new level, you begin to see other aspects of the beloved. The person suddenly has shortcomings, sometimes the other does unpleasant things or, as it seems to him, behaves completely wrong. Relationships leave respect. What even to admit was impossible at the beginning of a relationship, at the moment of falling in love, turns out to be normal even after a while. Two people allow themselves to relax and begin to behave as they want. For example, to call a woman a "fool" at the time of courtship with a man and the language would not turn, after the wedding it is almost unconsciously pronounced.
Respect - respect for distance and respect for borders.
Respect is manifested in the willingness and ability to observe the boundaries of the territories between two people.
Let your loved one be different. Give the opportunity to have everything - your opinion, your things, your money, your personal time, your space in the apartment, your habits.
To respect this means respecting and appreciating someone else’s and others’.
Respect "cold" and respect "warm"
True respect is not a neutral position. Respect in the family, this is the unity of love and respect, and although these concepts are very different, they complement each other. Love without respect becomes an uncontrollable feeling that deprives one of freedom, and at times can be dangerous, because there are no boundaries at all. Without love, respect is deprived of the soul, and becomes a dry compliance with the rules, a formality. "Love without respect is short-lived and impermanent, respect without love is cold and feeble." Johnson B.
It is necessary not only to respect a person, but also to respect this "warm", respect as a native person, emphasizing his importance in his life.
And then respect becomes a recognition: "You are important to me, you are valuable to me" and then respect will be expressed in a thousand everyday things, you will begin to pay attention to how you open the door to a loved one, how to say goodbye to him, how to listen or look at a person. Respect in the family is not a commonplace politeness, it is manifested in respect, in warm words, attention and signs of gratitude.