It is not right. All the best should be in those who deserve it. If today the father worked the most in the family - respect first of all to him. If we remember that our old grandmother brought us all up and brought up, care and attention to her grandmother. And let the granddaughter help to set the table, so we do not feed idlers. The main thing in the family is the one who provides the family, and not the one who screams the loudest. Adults (real adults!) Always have an advantage over any children, because they have already become clever, and children are just getting.
Only when children know that all the best is for adults, they have a real desire to grow up. Adults can later go to bed. Adults can participate in the family council. Adults are more important than younger ones, therefore older children have the right to lead younger children.
In many families, the birth of a second child gives rise to serious difficulties with the first. If parents think that the best is for the smallest, the smallest, it becomes the small one. If it is the helpless and screaming gets here all the best, the older ones also begin to demonstrate that they are also helpless and also scream. Family fright comes. But it can be avoided as soon as the roles change.
Nikita is 6 years old, Nastya is 3,5 years old. Nastya has the title of "pups" in the family, and Nikita is already a "younger pupil". He is already studying, so the "student", but not yet in the real school, so "junior student". When Nastia was born and her parents switched their attention to Nastya, Nikita got jealous, Nastya became his rival, he was looking for an opportunity to make her some nasty stuff. When the parents built the relationship "All the best - for adults," the relationship of the children became completely different. What and why? Nikita, as a senior, now has rights that Nastya does not yet have. On family councils, where it is decided what and when to buy into the family, adults and children, Nikita already has the right to vote, and Nastya does not. Nikita can already eat sausages and sweet, and Nastya does not yet exist.
It is curious that Nastya treats this with full understanding and calm. She was offered a sausage at a party, Nastya refused them: "I can not, I’m not yet four years old." She says it calmly, because she knows: soon it will be possible for her.
Now Nikita, as a senior, cares about Nastya. Nikita wants to play, and Nastya needs to go to bed, and one excludes the other. Mom asks Nikita: "Nikita, how do we do this?" You are the elder, you decide this question, if you decide that you need to play now, it is possible, but Nastya does not go to bed at that time and seems to be very sleepy tomorrow. , that it’s time for Nastia to sleep, then you need to wait with the game. " Nikita thought, he decided: "We need to pack Nastya, I’ll play later!"
In this family there is also Vanya, he is 2 years old. He somehow burst into tears in offense ("why does my mother not play with me?"), Wants mother’s attention. Yes, but if mom works at home, then she needs to work. What to do? My mother put on Vanya and said to him: "Vanya, why do you go to me at once?" If you need to regret, then go to Nikita first, he’s our senior, I’m sure he will help you. And if it does not, then be sure to return To me, I love you, run to Nikita! " Vanya ran, began to hug Nikita and instantly calmed down. It seems that he liked to embrace Nikita even more than hugging his mother: my mother is too big, and my brother is more comfortable. And Nikita was proud of himself.
I, as a grandmother, visit my daughter, we all sit down at the table to eat. The daughter pours soup on the plate first to her husband, then to herself, then to her daughter. The little girl asks with offense: "Why do I always pour the last, I want to be the first to pour!" Mom calmly replies: "I pour so, because in the family they get their turn all over their contribution to the family. The Pope invests the most - he brings money, works hard, does everything around the house and repairs and repairs things. I cook, clean, wash, do with you your development, help the Pope in his affairs. And while you are least of all you bring to the family of good ... "
And gradually it starts talking about the fact that every person has his duties and rights both in the family and in society and the more a person brings benefits to others, the more he gets from society for their efforts. And more and more he begins to transfer the conversation to his daughter: "What can you do to contribute to the family?" Our little girl began to list her deposits: I cleaned the dishes, set the table for lunch, and taught the lessons. I can remove the "Baba Shura" (include "Baba Shura", this is when the granddaughter grumbles like an old grandmother, she is tired, then her finger hurts, then "Here again you need to glue the ads go (with my mother)", ..., constantly bu- bu-bu already last a whole year, and the fight against these phenomena has not yet led to the final victory).
After this conversation on the contributions of each member to the family, the child realized that everything in life we receive is not just so that we need not only to get from others, but also to invest our own forces in relatives, family and society. And she had a new commitment in the family - vacuuming the apartment and washing dishes not only for themselves, but also for other family members (of course, everything is in the power, large pans, etc., do not give). So the format was built - to contribute to the family - to fulfill their obligations.