Маргарет Тетчер прожила всю свою жизнь с любимым мужем, но после его смерти не была склонна к переживанию скорби и горя.
Страдалец, что ты несешь свое несчастье, как флаг? У всех были свои потери, и что теперь мы с этим будем делать? Страдать всю жизнь?
If a loved one dies, first of all it is necessary (once again) to think what can be done, what measures to take, and with any reasonable ability to act as energetically as possible. If everything is possible, keep everything in the field of attention, but get busy with your own affairs: the more you are busy, the better will be in your soul, and calmer than the one who dies.
He and his problems and sores are enough, you do not need to add to it your feelings and your heartache.
If a loved one has already died, the situation is closed. Start looking ahead and taking care of those around you. Probably, your calmness and turning to business will be their best support.
The story of Marina K.:
When in my life I experienced a loss of a loved one (I was then at the second year of the university), three days after the incident, I had to go to the session. I tried to tell "about feelings" to the teacher. To which he asked me: "Will you study?" There was neither emotion nor softness in the intonation, rather hardness. I once again tried to talk about what happened, "play a victim" - pity me. He again asked: "Will you study?" ... silence. "You will study?" - a quiet question was sounded for the third time. What did I learn from this conversation? - not complaining about time, in life everything happens, and then you need to learn and live!
So the teacher quickly held a "consultation", asking only three questions, and then - to work ahead! After this incident, I began to study perfectly. To not have time for experience, I went in for sports five times a week. I read many books. Parted from a young man in a relationship with whom a long time had to be put a stop. Later I got a promotion.
I was then told that no one worked for a year, and so it worked for me for three days ... And if at that moment I was asked: "Are you a believer?" - I would "remember" that the believer went to church, t .e. I went to worry further.
The main difficulty is that a strongly experiencing person does not want to free himself from the spiritual pain that he has mastered, and the query usually does not sound "How to return to a normal state," but "How to survive all this?", That is, leave pain and find opportunities to live in the background this pain.
In any case, it is very useful - to change the situation, remove all the little things that are repeatedly reminded of the death of a loved one. Do not confuse: grateful memory is one thing, and reminder of death is another. If you did not have a good picture of your father, mother or other close person, do it and hang it in a decent place. If you collect all the best memories with the help of friends and relatives, design them and maybe even publish somewhere - this is also respect for memory. But sitting, repeatedly looking through the personal belongings of the deceased - not the best idea. Live the way this man wanted from you, and he wanted, apparently, that you were happy and lived, thinking about the future and building your future. So, it’s the way to live.