What does a child need to grow confident?
Probably, love and care from parents? Support for his hobbies? Approval of initiatives? Is the same good-natured acceptance of both successes and failures of a little man?
Maybe yes. However, despite the fact that the previous paragraph sounds quite simple, in reality all this give a native child a very difficult situation. In particular, if for some reason he has already closed and does not believe in the sincere involvement of the parents (or parent).
And without this participation, it is extremely difficult to keep faith in yourself under the onslaught of new life tests.
What, then, should be done?
A friend of mine recently came up with a ritual that, I think, solves this problem. Restores the child’s trust. Promotes convergence. And opens the heart of a young creature for help from the elders.
He arranged with the son to call up every day and share 2 news from his own life.
• The first news is about what he is proud of from what happened on this day.
• And the second - that he had (at the moment) failed.
And that’s all.
Онлайн-передача Дмитрия Сорока «Женщина глазами мужчины». Выпуск №1. В гостях у Дмитрия проф. Н.И. Козлов и его жена, психолог Марина Смирнова.
That this communication did not turn into an interrogation, my friend took the initiative. And he was the first to talk about what he asked of his son.
And you know, it worked!
At first the child expressed doubts about the need for such an exchange of news. And he agreed to it only because the pope asked. But then he was so embroiled that he started calling first.
That, in my opinion, confirms the significance of the ritual and its great potential.
Here are my thoughts on this matter:
Talking about his failures and successes, the father becomes closer to his son. He appears before him as a real person. And this, it seems to me, contributes to the emergence of reciprocal confidence. He brings safety and sincerity to the conversation.
On the other hand, telling a status man (and the father is usually the most status-based person in a child’s life) about his life and receiving from him UNDERSTANDING (that this particular success is worth it to be proud of, and this particular complexity is a worthy complication), the child begins to believe in himself.
And you will agree, considering that this happened thanks to only 10 minutes a day - an excellent result!