When I started practicing, I often listened to the client for an hour, until he told me everything about his life, about all his personal failures and numerous problems. Soon I realized that these complaints flows have very little to do with what the client actually came up with and practically does not help me so that I can help my client ... You can, of course, cynically rejoice that time goes by and money flow, but if you think about the case, then the consultation should be different.
Which one? And I began to pay attention to how doctors work. Doctors also help people, but - in a different way.
When my children get sick, I call a pediatrician. In periods of demi season, when the epidemic of respiratory diseases begins, he receives up to 30 calls per house every day. It’s interesting to watch his work. The whole visit takes 5-7 minutes. During this time the doctor manages to come in, take off his outer clothing, put on shoe covers, wash his hands, do a child’s examination, prescribe the treatment, dress and go.
Actually, the examination itself and the discharge of treatment takes 3-4 minutes.
If a psychologist tries so, it will be evaluated as ... as something strange ... So – it’s not accepted. It is accepted that a counselor psychologist should listen to the client’s unfolded confession, and the therapist in addition to this must go not only in breadth, but also deep down, to look for the reasons for what is happening with the client. This can take several years.
If our pediatrician worked like this, how many examinations could he do in a day? If I came to everyone with the whole history of the child’s illnesses? I think that he could do 3-4 visits at best.
It is clear that the world of the soul is very wide and diverse, but our physical body is also an immensely complex construction. So far, in practical medicine, there are many questions about how to treat certain diseases. However, the most common diseases qualified pediatrician will be able to identify and prescribe the treatment without getting fully acquainted with the entire history of the child’s illness. And I asked myself the question: is it really the case for a psychologist to listen to the client "from and to" each time? Do you need to dive deep into the client s problems in every psychological counseling?
As my practice shows, at the very least, the main request of the psychologist s clients: "I do not know what to do with everything that happens in my life." And here the fastest and most effective way to help a person (you can say, a magic tablet) is not to maintain a flow of complaints, but to transfer the client to the position of the Author from the first minutes of the conversation. What would such a consultation look like? For an objective business conversation, so characteristic of the synton approach. The client starts complaining, the psychologist quickly switches the client to "What would you like, what do you expect to get as a result of the consultation?" Not every client then proceeds to the matter, most continue the lengthy stories, but the consultant stops him:
"Take the pen, write it down. I am ready to dictate now what you will have to do. I have a question for you: will you do it? I will tell you my recommendations when you tell me how much time and effort you are willing to spend on their implementation. "
Of course, the work of a psychologist is different from that of a pediatrician. If you return to the analogy with the appointment of a pediatrician, the latter does not bother with the topic of whether or not to take the obligation of the patient to comply with the prescriptions. A pediatrician can afford this, he knows that he will buy pills and rinse his mouth (most likely). We psychologists do not yet have such authority, and by virtue of this, we can and need to clarify whether the client is ready to comply with our recommendations. This is all the more important, since it is an excellent way to motivate a client to take action, to work. And just to make sure that the client really understood my recommendations, and not only understood, but they are suitable for him, and not only fit, but he really wants to fulfill them and will be able to fulfill them - this is the time I will not regret. This is really important!
Now, when I began to work in a more directive way, I began to direct the client more in the right direction and focus on making my recommendations relevant to the client, the effectiveness of my work as a consultant became higher. Thanks to the University and my teachers!