Автор: Татьяна Сорокина,
Университет практической психологии

How to get rid of anger and rudeness in children, or How to become a calm and affectionate mother

In the courtyard there was a beautiful hot summer weather. Just the very time when you want to be near the pond to feel the pleasant coolness from the lake or the river, to rustle in the water, to enjoy all the delights of mother nature.

My children and I went out for a stroll to our park, not far from the house. There was everything we needed: a cool shadow of trees, a warm summer breeze, fresh air, and even a lake with quack ducks.

The only thing that bothered me a little was my cold, my throat got a little sore. But I decided that the wedge kicked out with a wedge, and bought both the children and myself, a delicious chocolate ice cream.

The next morning I woke up without a voice. And in general the words flew only in a whisper.

My boys looked at me with interest, when instead of my sonorous voice they heard only a low whisper. This state lasted for me 4 days, and that’s what I noted.

First, now I could not react to the pranks of children with the same pressure, because this had to be applied too much effort, and the result was not at all.

Secondly, when the children did not obey, a wave of indignation rose in me, but as the impact lever in the form of a voice temporarily broke, this wave disappeared very quickly.

Thirdly, when I realized that temporarily I was helpless, I decided to change tactics, namely, I did not react emotionally to the children’s pranks (it was still useless), and the children were managed with gestures.

From the outside it looked something like this: I approached them as close as possible to be in their field of vision, with cotton, that I would now speak quietly, and whispered: "Quiet!"

The most interesting thing is that after that the children immediately fell silent and listened with attention, what am I going to tell them! But when I had a voice, I had to attract their attention several times with a loud voice.

Another plus was that now the children themselves had to approach me when they needed something from me. Earlier, when everything was in order with my voice, the children were simply shouting loudly from different rooms their questions. I, in turn, also responded aloud to them-laziness was approaching each other.

Now everything has changed. When they realized that I could not answer them, they started running up to me with their requests and complaints. I, in turn, deliberately did not run to the children, expecting that they themselves would fit, if they really need it.

Now that my voice is back, the children often ask me to play with them in the game "but let’s have a voice lost with everyone". It’s very fun, the children start to whisper something, and then we all laugh and amicably laugh. Or I, when the children are too noisy, clap and say to them: "Once or twice or three, and now we all have a voice!" And we begin to whisper. And instead of scandal, there comes silence, followed by laughter.

P.S. And for myself, I made another conclusion that the intensity of the scandal (no matter with an adult or with a child) can be reduced if you just mute the sound of your voice. Our voice is a very powerful tool that can and should be used in such emotional moments of our life.