Автор: Н.И. Козлов

Complaining is the last thing!

​​​​​​​In the comments to the article "Emotional winding up, stirring up emotions" met an interesting position:

You can complain and you need to tell all the bad things - and try to forget, as soon as possible. For spiritual conversations are best suited: family, psychologist, psychotherapist, social worker, coach, councelor, close relatives, closest friends. Strangers, neighbors, co-workers, etc. Their problems in life should not be loaded.

Puzzled. Thoughtfully. Why, under what task need to complain? I have not been doing this for about 30 years, none of my children have had fun either... Discuss what is going on in life, look for the best solution - yes, it’s understandable, it’s necessary and meaningful. And to complain - why?

Get off one’s chest? It is not true that the procedure of "complaining" to this contributes to: those who complain a lot, just go all their lives with mournful faces and a disgusting mood. But the motto of successful people is just the opposite: "Do not piss!".

In the family life, a woman smiles, and not a habit of complaining. Just those who often complains, men do not endure. Who needs it?

For the author’s position in life, "complaining" - definitely not typical. Yes, a person in the position of Victim likes to blame and excuse, get upset and complain - but is this your lifestyle? Similarly, in business, "complaining" is basically not just a bad tone, but something that goes beyond ... To think - it is understandable, to consult about a difficult situation - it is very useful, and to complain? ...

People with humor will respond only: "Do you want to talk about it?"

Not only my relatives, but also my employees, as far as I know, have long since disposed of this bad habit. Complaining is just a bad habit, the same as smoking ... Someone smoked - he felt better. Does this mean that we will recommend someone to accustom to cigarette smoke?

​​​​​​​Complaining is a bad habit, unworthy of decent people. Is it the same for you?

Moreover, I will pay special attention to how we raise our children. Recommendations of many psychotherapists "Let the children freely express their negative emotions" are brought up from our children are not mentally healthy children, but psychopaths. This is a bad recommendation. In wise and loving parents, children are not afraid to express their opinion, like to discuss with their parents everything that worries them, but they have no habit of crying, resentment, frustration, they have no habit of complaining. Do not encourage children in their crying and moaning.

​​​​​​​The basic method is probably familiar to you: "While you’re crying, I do not understand you. Calm down, tell me what you want, and we’ll discuss everything together!".

Similarly, if the child comes running and complains: "Masha took the paint away!", normal parents at first will hug, kiss, and then they will suggest to correct the format: "I do not understand! When you complain, I do not understand what you want! Say calmly: what would you like me to do?"

It seems that in this case our children will grow by more intelligent people.

And your opinion?

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