I raised two sons, they now have three children, and the most important rule in the family was: the older ones take care of the younger ones, and the younger ones obey the elders. Roma is the youngest, and I always taught him that the elder brother is the most important person for him, he must obey him, like mother and father, grandmother and grandfather. And the eldest, Vadim, when we were alone, always told how to behave, so that his younger brother respected him. Vadim never scolded Roma, cared about his authority. But Roma did not have to scold him, because to deal with him was Vadim s work.
I loved to communicate with my sons and tried to find games that would be interesting for them, and useful for the family. Very successful was the game of war: I was usually the commander, and Vadim, as captain in rank, reported to me about all the situations on the battlefield while I was preparing lunches and dinners.
"Comrade Captain, go to the barracks and see what ordinary Ivanov is busy with (Roma was then several months old!)". A few minutes later I hear a message: "Comrade commander, let me report, Private Ivanov described!".
When I had to go to the store, I called Vadim and sent him on a business trip to another city, giving an order that he should get there. He carefully bent his fingers so as not to forget something. He got on his bike and circled around the house. And when he came back, he told me by fingers what he bought for the family, and at the end with pride reported that, in addition, he bought me a beautiful dress! I was just happy! Later, when he was at school, my children often went on excursions to different cities with the class, and the teacher Elena Nikolaevna always told me with admiration that only Vadim and Roma from the whole class were spending their money on gifts to mom, dad, grandmother and grandfather. All the rest never even remembered about their relatives and bought themselves all sorts of goodies. I think that our games brought up children's attention, kindness and care.
We almost never criticized the younger, because he was brought up with the help of a magic invisibility cap. Once, when Roma was four years old and I was working in a junior school, Vadim quickly took me to the kitchen, closed the door and said: "Mom, now you ll go into the room and see Roma. He will have his father's hat on, and if there are two holes in front of the hat, then you can not see it." It turns out that he found somewhere in the attic of his father's soldier s hat-panamka, and told his brother that this hat was invisible. Only it works if Roma behaves well. And the one who behaves badly, the properties of this invisibility cap are lost. Excellent was the game!
I remember this case, I come home, I go to my room to change, and I see my younger, standing in the corner of the room in an invisible hat with two holes in front. Clearly, I do not see it at point-blank, but we need to change clothes, and the boy s eyes are burning, what can he see now that he is not allowed ?! Slowly I take off my blouse, and I myself think what to do? Hooray, came up with! I shout: "Vadik, I forgot to tell you!" - and with these words I run out of the room. "Vadik, help me out, call this curious, by any means bring him out of my room." Then I go back to continue changing clothes and watch Roman, hearing the call of his brother, reluctantly, with such vivid dissatisfaction on his face, leaves the room - you can not disobey, the properties of the cap are lost. For a long time we played this wonderful game, only when my son grew up, the hat somewhere was hurting...
Now, in the families of my children, the orders are the same: the older ones take care of the younger ones, the younger ones love the elders.
Children really grow up good. In other families I often saw one child screaming something from another, and we have never had such a thing. Younger Taisia, seeing that Maya is lying on the couch without a pillow, gets up and puts a pillow under her head.
It seems that children like to take care of someone - provided, of course, that the child gets a status for it. And this applies not only to our children. My granddaughter somehow complained to her parents that she was constantly offended by the boy Vanya in the kindergarten, pushed and pulled at the pigtails. Okay, and what should I do? The next morning in the reception room of the group the pope asked his daughter to call this boy to him, sat him beside him, shook hands with that hand, and quite seriously asked Vanya to protect Maya, as she told her parents at home that the strongest in the group he. With what pride Vanya made a promise that from this day no one will dare to offend Maya, he will always protect her! And the wolves are full, and the sheep are safe!
Perhaps, this principle will get accustomed and in your family? The older take care of the younger, the younger ones love and obey the elders.