We are parents!
In this article, we summarize the results of a study conducted by us, teachers of the Escalibur Camp children’s camps. For several years now we have been shifting in our children’s camps. One of the key issues that is important in communicating and working with children is how can they be interested in doing something? How can parents and educators create a child’s interest, involvement? This is what we teachers came to, based on the experience gained for almost a dozen changes.
As you probably already guessed, this article will focus on the differences between such concepts of child upbringing as obedience and initiative. On the one hand, every parent wants to see his daughter or his son obedient, disciplined. On the other hand, in order to be successful in a future life, it would be good if the child was active and proactive. Under the recumbent stone, water does not flow, right?
When talking with parents before sending children to the camp, I had to listen to such kind of wishes very often: "You, above all, see that he does not play there in your camp. And do it so that he does not sit in the corner, but was the leader and the ringleader among his peers. "
Hmm. At first glance, these are really two different aspects of the upbringing of any child. Not only are they different - they are often opposed to each other. Or got in class, group, or obedient quiet.
From us, adults and serious parents, all the time require obedience. We must follow the rules of the road, the rules of conduct in the metro, the company’s sales standards. In the hypermarket, laying on the tape at the cash register of the purchase before payment, we must separate our purchases from the others with a metal bar with the inscription "the next buyer". We know that sometimes it’s easier. It’s easier to live if I’m driving on the right side of the road, it’s easier if I keep a ticket for a suburban train in my pocket until the end of the trip. Well, yes, those who pay tolls on trains will understand me.
And if obedience is demanded of us, then we also demand it. Our children. "Listen, what I’m telling you!" Is probably the most popular phrase of all time.
Pay attention, friends, what a strange paradox. We are told, you observe, follow, obey. We tell this to our children.
At the same time, we hear: take everything from life, be a winner, conquer all. To children we say the same thing - dear, you listen, and you must be the best, think up something unusual, out of the ordinary. Son, you must be obedient, disciplined, strongest, adroit, stand out among others, protect girls and not run in physical education classes.
When we started our children’s camps, we asked the following question: the guys should go to the fighting games, come up with ideas for their films, collect a team for orientation. For these cases, you need activity and perseverance.
But to build oneself up, hold the bow in the right way, when you make a leather bag, keep the scissors horizontally - this requires obedience and discipline. And we conducted this research. They asked the guys what, according to their expert opinion, is more important for them. The answers surprised us: you, educators, give us the opportunity to take the initiative, and we are for you ... we will obey. Therefore, when we began, for example, the occupation of making clay figurines, before explaining in a strict voice what and how we would do, we questioned the children for a few minutes. Who wants to sit where? What color do you like more? Who will be the senior in the group? Who will cut, but who wants to sculpt first?
And it’s strange. More precisely, nothing strange, the children wanted to do what they themselves invented. Especially when we have worked out their ideas on the principle: since Peter wants to cut the clay, he will sculpt and watch how others cut. Nevertheless, our attempts to immediately and without fail insist on their decisions very often failed, but more children))
It is useless to say - be obedient and be a fighter. Better say - be a fighter and listen to what they say. First involve and then format, not vice versa!
It turns out that our goal, the task as parents for the future is to make our children become active and obedient. And the first, perhaps, the most important step for this important matter is not to rush to format the child, to discourage him from the desire to be active, to do something. Do not rush, he will not run away from you anywhere. Give him the opportunity to do something, even wrong, the main thing then to explain in detail to him what rules in this game. What actions lead to victory, how their observance will achieve results, and how to obey these rules.
Try to do so very briefly, a week or two and you will notice that the children look at you with completely different eyes. And they become both active and obedient. In our camps, "Escalibur Camp" so it turns out.