Анна Кузнецова, медицинский психолог,
кандидат психологических наук, www.kuzcenter.ru

Games with life: it’s time to change the rules

We all know about "we live once" (and this is not a draft), that it is important to live "your life", as fully as possible, etc. And, nevertheless, we manage to enter life with a very peculiar relationship, which is more like a game.

But not those in which the child plays, to develop and to know the world, but to those that substitute real life.

I do not pretend to make an exact classification, but in my practice (and in life) I observe the following options:

• "Oh, if you are so, then I ...."

I want everything "in my opinion" as planned. But, alas ...

To be offended, to escape to another room / city / country / reality, to lie down and think about how unfair and well it is, and first let’s apologize and give me what I want, and then we’ll see ...

As if life will be to bargain. Will not be.

• "Yes, but ..."

Life offers opportunities - work, new acquaintances, ideas, but all of them are depreciating.

"Yes, of course, this work is interesting, but the road will take a long time." "Yes, indeed, this gym near the house is a good opportunity to take care of health, BUT money must be paid!", Etc. etc.

As if these proposals will be poured forever. Will not.

• "Now, now, here I will finish and I will come ..."

There is a LIFE and there is vanity (the conveyor of affairs). There are dreams and opportunities for their realization, here - there is some kind of current occupation, urgent work that you can do indefinitely, like dust cleaning, postponing "for later" the rest of your life.

As if it will wait forever. Will not be.

• "I sit down and wait for the corpse of the enemy to pass by ..."

Why move, if you can wait until everything turns out "in itself": the employer will persistently invite you to work, friends "will drag" to rest, and in personal life "everything will turn out". Chance, of course, is (as in all and always), but approaching zero.

As if life is a "fairy godmother." No, not she.

• "Here are the others - yes, life! And at me - fie ... "

Nearby, especially if you look closely, there are always people who have both" the sheep are fatter "and" the grass is greener "and" the sun is brighter ". And the more you focus on it, the worse it seems (and it becomes!) Its own situation. Envy takes a lot of effort and time. To change their lives they do not remain. And why?

As if life can be the same. Can not.

Why am I doing this?

We play and play. The problem is that life does not play along in such games, and has the property of ending. And there is a situation where "life is not lived", "not its own", etc.

I know that psychological articles need to be filled with practical recommendations, but in this case I do not see a universal algorithm for self-help.

Perhaps the most correct thing to do is to decide whether to continue to play or to take a closer look at your life, prioritize, join hands and go further together.

"In sorrow and in joy, until death part us."

And what games do you play with your life?

Take care of yourself!