Our ideas about ourselves, others, the world and God always have the character of self-fulfilling prophecies and self-fulfilling prophecies. The sages noticed this for a long time. And modern science that studies the brain began to actively confirm this paradigm: first the word, and then the reality corresponding to this word!
Therefore, friends, we follow our thoughts, we predict ourselves something good. This is especially true for the world of relations, because there self-prophesies come true almost instantly. What they said to themselves, they received, especially if they made active efforts to put this idea in the head of their beloved.
"Have you noticed how our relations deteriorate, how do you pay less and less attention to me ...?" If until now he or she did not notice, if they considered it insignificant quarrels and just their big employment, then I, my dear ones dear prophets, congratulations, soon he or she will notice it. Because the brain has recorded your passionate monologue for the subcortex and will issue a tough command to its owner: "give as little attention to this person as possible!" Its main task is to ensure that the mental picture does not at all differ from the real one so that there is no cognitive dissonance! And the brain will follow it methodically! Did you achieve this? No? Then exclude speech describing the negative reality.
Tell your partner about all the good things that you notice between you. And program, program him or her for a happy future with you.
"You do not give me much time ..." - this is not our turn of phrase, it’s a little effective, but very effective self-fulfilling prophecy.
What will be the positive and instructive programming of a partner falling into the "separate" role?
"Have you noticed that as soon as you have a free minute, do you hurry to see me?", "You know how great it is - together to the cottage, to the river, to the trip ...", "You see that with me you all get much better? "
To the place said intelligent verbal constructions work miracles))))
I wish success in the relationship!