Автор: Н.И. Козлов

The general is not interrupted

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​I do not know how to listen to the end of the interlocutor. As soon as his thought becomes "understandable" to me or I know for sure that he will "say" immediately, I give it out: "Well I understood, I suggest saving your and my time, we do that!". As a result, there are conflicts. The interlocutor feels disrespect, and I do not always accurately and not always deeply understand his idea. And if this interlocutor is not just an interlocutor, but a chef or husband, especially with a capital letter, the situation becomes critical. So, you need to teach yourself to respect the interlocutor and listen to him carefully: do not interrupt.

How can this be learned? What to do?

• While listening, train to listen to the interlocutor to the end, even when he repeatedly speaks the same thing. Train at this time of relaxation and deep, even breathing.

• While listening, repeat the logical circles of his thoughts to the interlocutor and count the number of logical circles. Track whether the interlocutor adds something new to the new logical circle (usually adds something).

• As long as he speaks and repeats, you have time to think how to react to this situation in the discussion of what to answer and how. Think about where to start, what and how to continue, what to finish with.

• If it is more reasonable at all to interrupt the interlocutor at some moment, look for the right moment when at least some thought has already been completed. Or, if you are in the circle of your people, sign "Pay attention to me!": Raised your right hand, shook left and right with two closed fingers (index and middle). When the interlocutor stops, do not command, but first check your understanding: "Did I understand your idea correctly?" - and repeat what the husband said.

• And not to forget all this, you can accustom yourself to address your husband "My General!". Men usually like this, but you are well organized in the appropriate format.

If you interrupt not in a regular situation, but in a conflict situation, this is even more dangerous. To prevent this, better write down on the sheet the abstracts (and turns) of yours and your companion. You will calm yourself, and in case of what - very useful!



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